So after deciding with the doc last month that life was looking up and we would meet again to make a plan for my future buffness, the back has taken a turn for the worse again. He wanted to know how much my herniated disk was healing anyway to know how far he could push me physically into shape, and so I had an MRI to see what was up. I figured it was just a bad week and he wouldn't have much to tell me other than to get to work taking care of my body. At least I would get to play tennis again someday and do normal activities like other people!
On the contrary, it's going to be a while still. The MRI might have been helpful 5 months ago when my family practice doctor found it unnecessary. It gave us a lot of handy info--like that my body is falling apart--oh wait, we knew that. :) Another disk is now herniated; two others are torn, one or two have a hole in them; not only are the cushions between them deteriorating but the actual vertebrae are degenerating. (This isn't as bad, it's like having your hair turn gray but not losing it, like the disk cushions). Basically he said I'm an old car--I "can still drive, but it's not a pleasant ride." :) Because the degenerative process is happening much earlier and more severely than a "normal" person, he diagnosed me with chronic disk degenerative disease. And now I am wearing a back brace all day other than to shower and do some physical therapy stretches. I will wear some sort of brace (hopefully just soft and smaller) for the rest of my life. That's what my back needs to lend some sort of support to a system that otherwise isn't giving me much. That has been very debilitating because it's very restrictive, makes me sit with perfect posture (or did) and hurts when I don't or try to bend much. I'm still undecided on which is worse--the normal back pain or being an invalid again. I'm finally starting to get adjusted though (as well as quench the 3 week virus I've had like everyone else) so that I can again go back to being a normal person. I thought I would have to revamp my wardrobe so you don't see this fashion monstrosity, but I'm surprised with how much I can get away with wearing from the looseness of my clothes. I don't hate it anymore, and I'm slowly getting back into work so that I'm not zombie teacher who shows up for a couple of hours unplanned and goes home to collapse. In short, I think the worst is over, although if anything, I've felt prompted that these minor trials are just preparation for harder things to come. I'm sure from the easy life I've been blessed with, you would agree. I think with faith and hope and high expectations for good things coming too, it won't matter how hard things get, there will always be even more awesome things to compensate for the not-so awesome.
So bring it! I've decided stress is a choice, and I choose no stress--only dedication to those principles which help overcome.
Thus ends (for this month) the life saga of physical fun!
