It all started when I went on birth control pills the summer
before our wedding to get my cycle just perfect--which didn't help anyway because I started menstruating fifteen minutes before our reception started.
It had already been a rough day and I was not a happy camper. It didn't take long to remember that I don't enjoy the side effects of the pill and don't believe in postponing children unless directed,
so I stopped taking it.
We were nervous
and leery about having children right off the bat with Isaac embarking on graduate
school and knowing that would leave us no money if I gave birth and wanted to quit
teaching. Nevertheless, we knew if the
Lord wanted us to have children, He
would make a way for us like He does so many others and we would be happy.
Each month we went to the temple and I asked a similar question:
"Can we/should we have children yet?"
Each month for about a year and a half the
answer came..."Not yet. It's not
the right time."
Each month I was
disappointed and yet relieved that I continually knew the Lord's will when so
often the trial can be getting no answer at all.
Then the answers stopped.
No no's OR yeses. A few months later
came the thought, "the time is getting close when you'll be expecting a
baby." Oh, so "getting close"
like when I had that same feeling about getting married and it was still a
couple of years before I did? Yep, whatever
close meant. We took that to mean it was either our choice or it was a go-ahead,
so we worked in that direction by learning all about tracking cycles,
temperatures, fluids and all the fertility helps and inhibitors. We were going to be well-informed and exact
and thus surely get a good result, right?
Within a few months of being really on top of this, those temple
answers turned into "Yes, try!" "Yes, this is right." But
nothing ever happened....
