One of the best things that happened to me this month (and this year, really) is recognizing all the blessings from serving in Relief Society. Since I'll be living at home for a bit, and then switching wards, I went to my last stake council. I wrote down most of the feelings I shared.
I remember my first stake council a year ago May. I was so scared to be here and especially to speak in front of you. I just sat out in the foyer until after it started, too afraid to come in because I wasn't sure if I was allowed or had to be invited first. President Wilkey had asked me to bear testimony about something that had been on my mind, and at that point it was a recent roommate prayer and scripture study where we were discussing our favorite gospel principle. I said that mine was the grace of our Lord.
Looking back over all that I've learned in the last 15 months, I've wondered what I'd say now. Perhaps my message seems the same and doesn't adequately reflect all the growth and love and humility that I've experienced serving in the best stake ever. I have had some strong impressions, particularly when it comes to seeing ward presidents worry so compassionately, wanting to make everything right in the lives of all those they cared so much about. I was often in that boat in the 11 months I served as my ward president before being stake secretary. Both stake presidencies I've served under and a few ward training sessions have heard me talk about the realization I had from responding to a ward president about this stress and concern she was feeling. What the Spirit taught still pricks me more deeply right now than any other principle. And that is this: Heavenly Father always has, always is, and always will take care of His girls. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever!
We do have a duty, a responsibility, an opportunity to be instruments in His hands. There is so much good people everywhere are doing, and so much better and best we all could work on that shouldn't be undermined. But...it's Heavenly Father who takes care of us, our Savior who makes up the difference, and we really have nothing to do with it. It's not about us. Sure, we need to do our part, but were it not for the Atonement of Jesus, no part would matter, nor would it fit together sequentially or properly in the pages of our books of life. I know we are nothing without Him. Conversely, with Him, we have no need to fear. We can be everything.
A little while back I wrote this in my journal of the best things that happen to me all day: "Today one of my favorite high councilmen, Brother Lawton, was released. His testimony was short and simple, but when he said, 'I know that Jesus is the Christ and the Son of God', I knew it. And I felt it."
Like Brother Lawton, there is something from each of you in this stake and those now moved on that I love and that I have felt. Erring on being too sentimental, it actually reminds of the lyrics to a pop song. To paraphrase them I'll say
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely faces?
Now I've seen them every week
And I know
That I am the luckiest
And someday, in a white sea of eyes
I'll see pairs of eyes I recognize
And I'll know
That I am the luckiest
I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you
And what does that have to do with my testimony of the grace of our Lord? We are a reflection of His love, and through the love you show, I know that Jesus is the Christ and the Son of God. And really, any concerns we have in this stake, be it for finances, administration, training, counsel, provident living, whatever--are useless unless under the all-encompassing umbrella of Christ's atonement. All that really matters is that He lived. After everything He went through, He still lives. That's certainly difficult to apply, but knowing that, I don't know how I could ever be truly unhappy. What I want and what someone else wants may be at odds. But there's comfort in knowing that we can both agree when the decision we make is neither my will nor your will, but God's. I love you and I see how much you love others, especially your children. If I feel this love so strongly, the love He has for me and you and them is truly unfathomable. Without His love, shining through in everything we do, we are nothing. Gratefully, He makes us something. He literally saves us, every day is my testimony,
in His name, Jesus Christ, amen.
