turkey vouchers anyone?

Janae says that every time I talk about her on the blog, she's being violent. So I'm going to tell you a story about Janae being violent. No, I won't tell about that time she hid behind the couch for almost an hour until Aimee finally came near enough that she could grab her in the dark. I'll tell you about Janae's obsession with owning all the turkey vouchers in the world--and using their evil power as weapons against us. Janae, what did I even say to rile things up? I can't remember. All I can remember is that I was being sassy (surprise). Janae fires back with "Watch out or I'll paper cut you with my turkey voucher!!!" She was practically lying down in bed and I retort, "Your turkey voucher??? What, do you carry that in your back pocket?" From her bedside, Janae whips up her proudly earned turkey voucher from Maceys: "saves your family more"and thrusts it at me like she's Captain Piccard. "As captain of the most powerful ship in the fleet, [s]he is well equipped to [fight], and when forced into combat, very few can match h[er] tactical prowess." None has ever matched the tactical prowess of Janae's paper cuts. (Last week she even scared me for the first time in months while on the phone with a high councilman, too). I'd better stop there, because few roommates ever match the violence (Oops, there's that word again, sorry!) of Janae period, and my life could now be at stake. Don't worry precious--I love Patrick Stewart!! So in all honesty, round up your turkey vouchers folks, cause the mission of this captain is to explore strange new couches, seek out new gobble gobbles, and to boldly paper cut where no voucher has paper cut before!